Carol Gray Social Stories: The Criteria Explained

Many parents and teachers search for “Carol Gray social stories” because they have heard that a real social story is more than a simple picture story. They are right. Carol Gray, a teacher who worked with autistic students, developed Social Stories™ in 1991 and has refined the format ever since. Her current guidelines are organized as ten criteria, often called Social Stories 10.2.

This guide explains the ideas behind those criteria in plain English, with examples. It is not a substitute for Carol Gray’s own materials, which go into much more depth, but it will help you understand why some stories work and others feel like lectures.

Social Stories™ is a trademark of Carol Gray. AIStory is not affiliated with Carol Gray or The Gray Center.

The goal: share accurate information, safely

The most important idea is the goal. A Social Story exists to share accurate, meaningful information in a way that feels safe and respectful to the child. It is not designed to make a child comply or to correct “bad behavior”. That shift matters: when the story explains the situation well, better behavior often follows naturally, because the child finally understands what is going on.

Gray also encourages authors to write stories that celebrate what the child already does well. A story about how nicely a child said goodbye to Grandma is just as valid as a story about a hard situation, and it builds trust in the format.

Discovery: understand before you write

Before writing, the author gathers information. What does the child notice in this situation? What is confusing? What do other people expect? Watching the situation, asking people who know the child, and seeing it from the child’s perspective usually reveals the real problem. Often it is not what the adults first assumed.

Example: a child keeps running out of the classroom during assemblies. Observation shows that the microphone feedback hurts his ears. The story becomes about the loud noises and what he can do about them, not about “staying in your seat”.

Structure: a title, an introduction, a body and a conclusion

A Social Story has a clear shape:

A title that names the topic, often as a question or a statement: “What Happens at the Dentist?”
An introduction that sets the scene.
A body that adds detail: what happens, who is there, how people feel.
A conclusion that reinforces the main idea in a reassuring way.

Short stories for young children might be only five or six sentences. Stories for older children can be longer and more detailed.

Format: tailored to the child

The format, meaning length, layout, font, pictures and how many sentences per page, should match the child’s age, attention and reading level. A three-year-old might need one short sentence and a photo per page. A ten-year-old might prefer a few paragraphs, no pictures and a more grown-up look.

Voice and vocabulary: patient, positive and literal

Gray describes several factors that define the voice of a story:

Perspective: usually first person (“I”) for younger children, sometimes third person (“Sam”) for older children.
Positive tone: describe what to do rather than what not to do. Negative behavior is described carefully, if at all.
Past, present or future tense as appropriate. Stories about upcoming events are often in the future tense.
Literal accuracy: avoid absolute words. Write “I will try to stay in my seat” or “Usually the bus comes at 8:00”, not “The bus always comes at 8:00”. Literal thinkers may be upset if reality does not match an absolute promise.
Accurate vocabulary: choose words the child understands and that leave room for change, such as “usually”, “sometimes” and “may”.

Questions that guide the story

A good story answers the questions the child would ask: where and when it happens, who is involved, what happens, how it happens, and why. The “why” is often the most valuable part for a child who struggles with social understanding: “People wait in line so everyone gets a turn.”

Sentence types

Gray identifies several types of sentences. The ones you will use most:

Descriptive sentences state facts: “The library has many books.”
Perspective sentences describe thoughts and feelings: “The librarian likes quiet voices so people can read.”
Coaching sentences gently suggest a response: “I can try to use a quiet voice.” They can also coach the audience or the team around the child.
Affirmative sentences reassure or share a common value: “This is a good idea.”

Some stories also include partial sentences that the child completes (“When I feel loud, I can ____”), which help check understanding.

The describe-more-than-direct formula

This is the rule most people remember: a Social Story should describe more than it directs. Gray’s formula asks for at least two describing sentences (descriptive, perspective or affirmative) for every coaching sentence, and many stories have no coaching sentences at all.

Here is how the ratio changes the feel of a story:

Too directive: “Do not run in the hallway. You must walk. Running is dangerous. Walk with your hands at your sides.”

Balanced: “At school, there is a long hallway. Many children walk in the hallway between classes. When everyone walks, people stay safe and can find their way. I can try to walk in the hallway. My teacher is happy when the hallway is calm.”

The second version explains the situation, gives a reason, suggests one behavior and ends on a reassuring note.

Making it personal

A story should be meaningful to the child: their name, their school, their teacher, their favorite things. Photos of the real place and people are especially powerful. A story that mentions the child’s love of trains (“Taking turns is like trains waiting at a station”) is far more engaging than a generic one.

Using the story

Finally, Gray offers guidance on implementation:

Introduce the story in a calm, relaxed way, not as a consequence.
Read it at a predictable time and keep the wording consistent.
Let the child keep and revisit the story.
Review results and revise the story as the child grows or the situation changes.
Fade the story over time once the situation is no longer hard.

Putting it into practice

If you are writing your first story, start small: one situation, five to eight sentences, and twice as much describing as directing. Our free social story template gives you sentence starters that follow this balance, and the social story generator writes a first draft you can edit.

For ready-made examples that follow these principles, browse our free social stories, such as the personal space social story or the transitions social story. New to the format? Start with What Is a Social Story?